Step on the Gas

This is what it means to work. Age 93, spending a summer afternoon assembling the railing for a porch.

Dear Louie,                 

“Step on the Gas”

It is amazing just how negligent one can easily become at this stage of life. Negligence in any action; negligent to volunteer, negligent to act, negligent to write, to read; negligent in all aspects, but critical in so much. The older one becomes, the more difficult it is to accomplish, even the most simple of tasks, and writing has never been a simple task. 

Writing demands thought, thought demands wakefulness, and that quality of living is most difficult to maintain for twelve wakeful hours; that is consecutive wakeful hours - not nodding, not dropping off, not eye closing - just for a minute. What is this leading up to; well if truth be known an attempt to excuse lethargy and age related neglect to even the easiest of tasks. We develop age-related laziness; we no longer have a drive to complete thought related tasks, to start interesting research, to complete started endeavors. We are directionally lazy, and develop excuse-based failed filing efforts. It’s sort of like we don’t give a damn to accomplish even meaningful efforts. 

Somehow goals and effort no longer coordinate, no longer result in endeavors of worth; we cast aside any goal which takes effort. Why is that the course? What prompts an effort lacking a goal, when in review of past living we proudly consider efforts of major accomplishment completed with work devotion and time spent with added-on effort. Somehow, one was able to add on, to complete work related goals with a minimum of extra effort and a maximum of concentrated effort. In truth, there seems to be a lack of concentrated ability for even the most worthy of goals. Almost like stepping on the gas pedal and realizing a disconnect between the foot pedal and the accelerator; a true disconnect of goals and effort production of the aging mind.

However once in a while all systems connect and products are accomplished. 

I knew of a few aging men in my practice who were able to quietly set a goal and slowly meet an end desired outcome. They were primarily quiet men - lifetime task oriented guys not given to bravado or noise, but dedicated to accomplishment, to devoted quiet work, usually in the solitude of their workshops and the soul resting tranquility. It seems that time, place, attitude, goals, need to meet the right person at the right time.

With that equation in balance many tasks can be achieved.

In the Cathedral Of Mary at Holy Hill is a card table of the Lord’s Prayer set in inlay of thousands of small pieces of wood inlay. The piece, the table, has stood in the side aisle of the church for many years; I recall it as being present on my first visit at the age of ten years or so. I marveled then as to the devotion of a man , Schaefer by name, who spent all those hours of solitude and direction to produce that and made a work of concentrated art.

It was the first recognition for me of concentrated effort.

Later, as a fourth year medical student, I recognized the initial product of a goal or dream, in the creation of one of the first artificial kidneys; a large bulky creation demanding the concentrated effort of five or more residents to secure a predicted outcome; now the subsequent kidneys are managed by trained and dedicated nurses on daily bases.

Effort does produce outcomes.

Yes, Louie, even guys of our age, given the right day, the right time, might be expected to accomplish efforts made of dreams. Truly, we might dedicate some time, energy, and direction; some discipline to accomplish. It is so easy not to succeed even at this stage of life and so easy to accomplish if one can just find the accelerator of effort.

Keep the Faith,

Jim

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